Jam Shed Malbec (2021 Vintage)

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Price - £7.50
Country of origin - Argentina
Score - 2/10

I have started writing this whilst “drinking” this wine. As you can see from the photo I've taken, the bottle still has wine in it. I will not be drinking any more wine from this bottle, because it is unpleasant. I doubt I will be able to finish my glass.


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The label was what made me want to buy this bottle of wine; it has a lovely colour palette with gold accents. It drew me in like some kind of visual siren, charming me and lowering my guard, until BAM it struck. Admittedly this wine didn't wreck my ship, kill me and then eat my body, but I feel equally betrayed. I probably should have guessed from the brand name and the description of “jammy” on the label, but this is a sweet wine, but not a “sweet” that I’ve encountered before.  Nowhere on the label does it say it is a sweet wine. A Malbec wine should not be sweet.


The tasting notes on the back of the bottle suggest that there are notes of plum, blackberry, cocoa and vanilla but it I do not get any of these individual flavours. This "jammy" wine actually tastes like a mixed fruit jam, with all the added sugar a jam would include. To some extent, this wine reminds me of Port, the sweetness may work with some deserts or cheese (foods that would normally be eaten with Port), but as a standalone drink, it does not lend itself for a pleasant experience. I know the wine is not off as there are no acidic, vinegar-like flavour, just an overpowering sweetness. The only wine I have ever had worse than this had actually gone off, but that time I somehow managed to drink more. I am not writing this to be mean to Jam Shed, the people who run the company are probably nice; I just think that this is not a good wine. Maybe something happened to the grapes for this year's vintage? Was too much sugar added during fermentation? The judgement here is purely upon this bottle of Malbec; I cannot speak for their other wines or even for Malbec vintages from other years.


In my search to see if this wine was meant to taste this way, I went to Jam Shed's website, whereupon I found that their company slogan is "Simple, Delicious and Gluggable", which made me cringe a little. On the page for their Malbec, I found the chart you can see on the left. This wine is mean to be on the dry side. This surprised me no end, as it really didn't taste like other dry wines that I've tried before. Whether or not a wine is "sweet" (Jam Shed call this Jammy) or "dry" depends on the amount of residual sugar in the wine after the fermentation process, which does change how sweet the finished product will taste. Malbec as a variety should be a dry red wine, and Jam Shed label this as such. I am so confused. Is this a mistake? Does Jam Shed think this is a dry wine? What are their sweet wines like?

Upon looking at online reviews, other people who have subjected themselves to this wine tend to agree with the judgement that it is overly sweet. Some of my favourite reviews include "like drinking terrible pop" and "my hubby termed it 'fruit juice'". What surprised me was the occasional five-star review, from people lauding it for its delicious fruitiness and richness. I imagine this is the kind of wine that people who like sugar in their tea or coffee might like; their sweet tooth ruining a good drink.

Whilst sipping at it through gritted teeth, I thought that the sweetness of the wine could work somewhat well if you were to use it to create a mulled wine. However, this bottle is £7.50, which is way too much for a mulled wine base. Considering that you can buy bottles of pre-mulled wine for around £4, this one possible use I thought of for this Jam Shed wine is eliminated. 


I will not be buying this wine again. I suggest that no one else buys it either, unless you like sweet wine. I mean, if you like sweet red wine, you could just buy an actual sweet red wine. If you have lost your sense of taste from COVID-19 and want to get drunk this could be the wine for you. You could get drunk for far cheaper of course, but at least you'd have a nice bottle to look at whilst doing so. Just make sure to brush your teeth afterwards.


(AUTHOR'S NOTE - This wine costs £7.50 for 750ml, making it 1p per millilitre. I drink small glasses of wine - I'm a student with limited glassware. Assuming my "small glass" is about the same as a small glass of wine from a restaurant, it would measure 125ml, or a sixth of a bottle. It took me 90 minutes to drink half a glass, making it very much not "gluggable". As much as it pained me to do so, I poured the rest of my glass and the remains of the bottle down the sink at the end of the night. I know it seems like a waste, but I could not bring myself to drink any more of it. I poured 91.6% of this wine down the bathroom sink. I poured £6.88 worth of wine down the sink, and if I'm being honest, cleaning the wine that splashed from the sink onto the floor was a more enjoyable activity than actually drinking it.)


(AUTHOR'S SECOND NOTE - Reader, I ask you to imagine mixing several fruit jams together, making them alcoholic, and that the finished product you have has the consistency of wine. If you can imagine the flavour I have just described, you have been saved from having to experience Jam Shed's creation.)


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